Thursday, May 21, 2015

G-daughter's graduation- from kindergarten


Today we attended my G-daughter's graduation- from kindergarten at her Catholic school. She was so happy. Her mom and her new boyfriend's family were there, her dad was there, we were there, her god-mother and son were there. A really big event. Her mom took the day off from work which was a really BIG event for a five 1/2 year old.

From there my wife took me out to eat - it was brunch-time by then.  And now I'm sitting at home alone and just flipping thru the internet, looking for ideas that I can build lesson worksheets around.


Today is fairly quiet. My wife as nothing to do till much later today. As I check my BP & BS which have always been normal, they were a bit high today. Nothing major, just a bit higher than normal. I simply took my pills and w 
ill re-check them in a bit.

I have gotten no texts, no real emails, my online stuff has quit selling but that is expected. I am working on a few simple worksheets but nothing out of the ordinary.

I've read a couple of web items but nothing major either. Basically it has been a boring day. My wife is up, that's good.

I just can't get over why I can not find a "TEACHERS" blog site so I can get back to being productive and have some real, daily, readers. The internet is such a wide open place...but I WILL find that place soon I hope.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Live brain, Dead body?

Why does my brain work 24 hours a day and runs at 90 miles per hour yet my body has simple refuses to do much of anything. I feel that way all the time. My brain tells me that there are things to do, things I want to get done, things that won't take much time or money but my body just will not get up its fat ass and get any of it done.

I have been out and walked the dog, came back on the porch, sat in my rocking chair and let my brain just run wild. My brain says it wants to come in, clean the old living room, move all the stuff from the new living room, vacuum the carpet, then go rent a 'Rug Doctor' and do the new living room carpet. Normal, easy work…all of it. But my body just set out in the rocking chair and took a catnap.

Now WHY is that? First I know it will take a little time, a little money but being RETIRED I have lots of time, and I do have some money, so that's not it. I have never been lazy before, my now?

I can give you answers, my brain is telling me now while I type this.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

My Game Plan

My game plan has always been the same. I DO wake up and get ready for the day. Any day ABOVE ground or the dirt, is a good day. I do expect better but I do have to deal with what has been dealt me. I do hope AND PRAY that it will get better.

Does it? I may have to wait til next week, next month, next year to be able to tell you that. I am just impatient so I always expect better. I do look back a do realize that it feels different that it did six months ago - good and bad. But it does feel different.

I watched Shark Tank last night and the lady on there has had TWO strokes and she is STILL getting up and doing things every day. She gives me hope. My mini-stroke could have been worse, so I am happy for that fact - that I am better than it could have been.

At least I do get up and walk the dog, do cut the grass here AND in the country, do fix my own meals, do get to go out to Wal*Mart and places like that, and do get to spend time with my g-daughter.

Could I do more? Sure but I need to take what life has given me and simply go from there.

Is there a sadness in my life. Sure there is. Are there any regrets. Sure. Actually, lots of regrets but there is nothing I can do about them now. Life has passed those parts of my life by and that's what I am left with. I can't go back and do them over, and there are no 'do-overs' it life. Teaching history for all those years should tell me something about that.

As my friend said, I am in control of my sadness and despair and I can change it or make it better or worse.

Life's good points....
  • I can and do go to church each week
  • I can still type here
  • I still am helping teachers with teaching my beloved history
  • I still manage my history website
  • I still - most nights - get a good night's sleep
  • I am learning about my medical problem and it IS getting better day by day
  • I did go to physical therapy
  • I tend to go to doctor more regularly
  • I still go out to eat at least once or twice a week, but don't eat like I used to
  • I have had weight-loss surgery, dropped over a 100+ pounds
  • My TPT account is and has been paying off a little
  • I get to spend time with my g-d which seems to be more than it used to. If I have her alone, we get along GREAT, if maw-maw is around I don't get to visit with her.

Life's bad points.....
  • I did do the ACTS (church) retreat before my health gave out
  • I had to give up my teaching - retired and forced to due to medical reasons
  • I had to give up my subbing - due to medical reasons
  • I had to quit coaching - due to medical reasons
  • I had to quit umpiring - due to medical reasons
  • I gave up my traveling and photography - some what due to medical reasons
  • I quit going to therapy due to high cost and insurance issues
  • I quit walking every day which I loved doing
  • I can't seem to do the carpenter skills I used to due to my left hand
  • I don't share like/as often as I did when I was teaching
  • My retirement check is not very good
  • I am not OLD enough for SS check yet, even though I have heard my medical condition would help me get it
  • I spend WAY TO MUCH time here on my laptop, but my wife spends way to much time on her I guess we are even.

Life's is still good all-in-all. And YES I do embrace the day the Lord has given because he HAS given me another day. Is today a day to SMILE? I think so. At least let me get through the day and I will tell you then.

Just checked BP & BS, both seem to be ok and normal. My doctor should be happy when I see her. The meds seem to be working good. I don't get up in the middle of the night anymore since I figured out that I am going to not drink anything after about 5/6 PM. It means a solid sleep. And I fall asleep in about 5 minutes after my head hits the bed each night. I tend to never hear my wife come to bed.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Why so early?

5:00AM -------
It is very early again. I up, have check my BP and BS all fairly normal again. Slept ok last night but you still see that I'm up and at it early. And you see where I'm at, right?

I read the online newspaper, checked my emails, ate 'breakfast' - if you call a pop-tart breakfast. I have taken my meds, checked my bank account, been to bathroom, and just sat and piddled around for a while.

My g-daughter who spent the night just got up. She's eating cereal and beginning ready for school.

6:00AM -------
My normal Crystal Lite is holding me over. I know when my g-d heads to school, I'm going to go shave and then go back to bed to take a nap. There's nothing wrong with that since I got up so early.
My g-d is still eating a watching the iPad before she gets dressed.

7:30AM -------
My g-d just left for school. I just joined a 'new to me' Louisiana blog but all I really did was add this link to that link and hopefully it will get some people to view this blog, but who knows. Took dog out for his business.

9:13AM -------
Been surfing around the web looking for different blog sites to link to. Basically I really miss my old days on I had plenty of followers there and a large number of friends that I made over the years. I tended to blog everyday at Xanga but they changed, started charging, and to many of my followers went elsewhere. Being retired and nothing much to do, I NEED a site to just fill my days. Any ideas?

10:05AM -------
Just emailed back a 'request' I got to apply foe the charter school that I quit last September. They really don't want me back OR maybe they do and IF they do, I REALLY don't want to go back. No way!

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Good Lord, I'm still here

3:30AM --------------
Another day, another .... I can't say that anymore. It's JUST another day. A day of doing nothing really but taking the dog out, sitting here typing on this blog, creating another couple of teacher resources for my teacher shops at TN and TPT and TL and TW, not sleeping, reading my emails, bidding my time, just watching another day go by. I'm going back to bed........

Got up, checked my BP & BS both seem fine. Took my meds, read my emails, created a couple more "freebies" for my teacher shops, ate a little breakfast, read my online newspaper, piddle on a few things, fed the cats and dog, 'catnapped' a bit.

10:30AM --------------
Took the dog out for his morning constitutional, set on the front porch just rocking and enjoying the breeze - not to hot, not to cool, came in watched a little TV, did a BUNCH of nothing, got back on this site, checked my emails again, briefly glanced at Facebook, set bored, doing what I seem to always do and that is just think, think, think, went back outside to sit in swing and do more thinking. Life is just BORING.

11:30AM --------------
Came back in and sat done here to type a little more. You do realize I am doing this one handed. I do just what I have too. I am still just hobbling around, but I am going to vacuum the carpet, get ready for my g-daughter to spend the night again since her mom is sick and her dad kept her the last two nights. Basically it means I have to more out of our bed because she and my wife take over our bed. Our g-d may be only 5 1/2 but she gets what she wants, when she wants it - according to my wife.

I am not my g-daughter's favorite but when my wife is gone or at he other jobs I become my g-d favorite, I fixed her supper the other night, planned a few games, watched a little TV until it just got LATE and my g-d wanted her mawmaw, then I was no longer her fav.

My wife will pick her up from school and take her to orchestra so she can show off her violin skills.

I wish I could type this normally so it would or could go faster.

5:02PM --------------
I wish, I wish, I wish, I know it does no good but I can at least wish I would get better, that the Lord could make me whole again, that I could get back to what I used to do....but that's not happening. I do go walk at Wal*Mart almost every day and I know that is helping. I do dream of doing things I used to and I see me getting better at them.

I do know that in the future I will look back at this medical problem and think 'you know, I knew it would..." and it will be better. Today IS better than yesterday and this week IS better than last week, a month ago, last year...well maybe not last year but I am coming back. I am getting older and I do dream of getting to my dad's age. I may not make it but I can try. I'm 63 and he made it to 92. That's a lon-n-n-g ways away and I don't want to be 'crippled' the rest of my life. If I'm going to be, just take me now. Otherwise, let me get better and better each day.

Lord, THANK YOU for giving me another day just so I can see myself with your help get better and better.